The rat and I

I knew this day would come. It was inevitable. I know that living in NYC my entire life would render this situation unavoidable...even though I had managed to avoid it for 30 years. My streak of luck ran out at approximatley 8:15 am Saturday morning. I was off to work (entirely too early if you ask me) and my morning appeared to be starting off ok until I got to the "bagel run" for a cup of large coffee. I gave the dude my dollar for the coffee and for some very odd reason kept trying to also hand him my metrocard (more than once!) that I had out and ready to swipe. He looked at me very strangely and said "I think you're going to need that." Yes, I will, I thought. I think he assumed I was on drugs.

I would like to take this moment to back up a bit and offer a public apology to my old roommate/friend Tara. Tara, I'm sorry about that evening back in the 30th Street apartment. We smoked some weed (we smoked a lot in those days) and went outside to hang out in the hot, sticky, summer air, and, well, I'm sorry that when we were standing and talking and that very large waterbug landed on your shoulder...ummm...I'm very sorry that I bolted down the block without telling you why. I'm sorry that I instead chose to tell you from a very far (safe!) distance. I remember you yelling: "why did you run down the block?" and I replied "because there is a waterbug on your shoulder!" I remember seeing you do that freaky, freaked out dance that anyone in their right mind would do if they had a waterbug hanging out on their shoulder. You were mad at me. I understand. I would've been mad at me too.

Ok, now that, that is out in the open I can continue. If anyone knows anything about the G train, you know it's a really short train. This translates to always having to be in the middle of the platform in order to board. If you just enter the platform and the G pulls up, you are going to have to run a fairly long distance in order to catch it. Sooo...this is exactly what happend to me, as it often does. With large coffee in hand, I descend the stairs to hear the G rumbling down and just about approaching. I knew that I was going to have to sprint. I had on my heavy, big black boots and realized that my run would not be an easy one, but I didn't want to wait for the next G train.

After I swiped my metrocard, I began my run. In the corner of my eye, I see that something large is running TOWARDS me along the edge of the platform. I ran, it ran. I ran, it ran. As we got closer to each other I could clearly see that it was a large rat, with a large tail. *Holy*Fucking*Shit!* is what I thought. For the people who know me, ya'll know how I feel about rats, mice and such. Anyway, I prayed that the rat would remain along the edge of the platform and allow me to continue my run without interference. But this is not what happened. The rat instead altered his course and started to run right TOWARDS me! Fuck! He got very close to my feet and we both did the 'dance' of trying to get past each other. He was big! Shit! Finally, he ran UNDER my legs (wow!) and continued along his path. This all happened in about 4 seconds but it felt like an eternity to me. Shaken, I still wanted to catch the G, so I continued running. I slid in the last car just as the doors were closing. When I finally sat down and allowed myself to breathe, I thought about the rat and I. I realized that this was due me. I deserved it. Payback is a bitch. So, Tara, you have been vindicated.