Enough is Enough

I'm breaking this cycle of complete and utter madness. I'm sick of it. I am going to re-enter the world of the fully functioning and focused. And I'm doing it today...I think. Well, I'm going to try. I know you're mind is burning with the question of HOW. How will Nicole do this? How will she pull herself out of the depths of post-breakup hell? Well, don't fret! I will end the mystery for you right now.

-I am going to get my lazy ass over to the Y here in my hood, that I joined almost 2 weeks ago and actually use the facilities!! It has been over a month since I have worked out. I love to exercise so there is absolutely no excuse. As soon as I finish with my client, I'm headed over there...but don't hold me to it.

-I am going to COOK. This may not sound very exciting or monumental to the 3 or 4 of you who sometimes read my blog, but trust me, this is a big deal. I have never really been into cooking. It has always just felt like too much work to prepare a meal just for myself so that I can sit on my little purple loveseat (who has a table??? besides you, Laura...we know...your apt. is HUGE) and eat all my hard work in like, 5 minutes? Then what? It's kind of anti-climatic. The other thing about cooking is a bit more emotional. My ex LOVED to cook our meals. She would make great dinners for us all the time. So, I don't know...it's very intertwined for me...BUT I am breaking out of it TODAY. Even though my kitchen is really tiny and even though it's going to be a major challenge to maneuver in there and even though it's probably going to take me an hour to make a simple dish...I am going to do it. My frying pan may suffer a dose of shock and suprise but that's ok because inanimate objects don't have feelings...right??? I must go grocery shopping to facilitate this project because the contents of my fridge are as follows:

Condiments, hummus, whole grain bread, cereal, yogurt, wilted spinach, wilted mixed greens, one half of an avocado turned brown, Silk soy creamer, Silk soy chocolate milk, tomato juice, a Brita, coffee beans, 2 kiwis in danger of going bad soon, a package of tofu, some vege hot dogs, some refried beans in a tupperware that are probably past their prime, tortillas, and rye crispbread.

In my cabinet resides: polenta, one can of split pea soup, one can of tomatoes, some boxes of quick fix tabouli, kamut spirals, and some dry beans.

Yea, I know, I know.

-I am going to finally bust open that meditation kit I bought about a year ago. For a whole year I have had the intention of checking it out but something always got in the way or was way more important, such as watching a movie. But tonight I am going to attempt the impossible. I'll let you know how long I was able to sit before my mind told me to move.

-I am going to buy paint and finish up the last of what needs to be painted in here. I will most likely not have time to do this today because, well, I have to cook. But soon, very soon.

-I am going to make lists! Yes, lists of all the things I need to purchase in order to make my home a real home. Wanna know some of the things I need?? Well, I'll tell you anyway.

I need a frame for my bed because currently it's on the floor...I think I deserve to be a little higher up, no? I also need a filing cabinet, a table for my printer (it's sitting on my chair right now), a stepstool so that I may reach the upper cabinets which will soon hold lots of stuff that I will be cooking, some light fixtures that are not hideous, some silverware since I only have 3 forks, 3 teaspoons, 4 tablespoons, 3 butterknifes and one chopping knife. I will also need to purchase another bowl or 3 since I only have one...while I'm at it I should probably buy more cooking items since all I have is one red frying pan and one saucepan...hmmm.

Well, I think that about wraps it up. If anyone has any recipes that are vege, simple, and tasty send them over. I have cookbooks but I'm lazy, like I said. Also, if anyone notices spelling errors, horrendous grammatical errors, terrible misuse of commas or an insane amount of run-ons in any of my posts please let me know.

Ok, off to the grocery store I go.